Epidemic or Painful Death by Toy

There is an epidemic happening in our society. It is such a prevalent problem, that I cannot believe more people are not talking about it. Its an issue that I’m sure any parent can relate to: Our children are being given too many small, pointy toys. These jagged toys are being left around homes all across America, injuring hundreds of thousands of parents. Please, let me share my experience with you, in the hopes that you will not fall victim to the same circumstances I have. I will warn you, what I’m about to describe is graphic (Okay, maybe not graphic, but it IS a cautionary tale).

My 4 year old son, Harrison, is a lovely boy. He has many amazing qualities, but, like us all, he is not perfect. He has been known to leave a toy or two laying around. I try my best to teach him how to clean up after himself, but as most of you know, it can be a slow process. He also has this lovely gift of getting what he wants, toys and candy included. I don’t know if it is his smoldering good looks, or his sweet nature, but the kid is freaking spoiled. I really don’t know what to do with him OR my mother, who does the bulk of the spoiling. (I didn’t get jack diddly when I was a child so I really don’t know where this comes from, but let me tell you this-even my hard-nosed dad showers these kids with goodies. It ain’t right.) So, It should have been no surprise to me that, there I was, 8:00 PM, cleaning up the hundreds of toys scattered about the family room. One by one, I cleared the floor of all the days fun and in the midst of tossing the toys in the toy-box, I heard my son beckoning to me from his room. Being the good (okay, mediocre) mother I am, I hustled (okay, OKAY, moseyed) on up the stairs to see what he wanted. After a lengthy discussion on why its *not* actually necessary to yell to me to come up the stairs just to tell me he picked his nose, I was able to head downstairs to finish my “job”. Now, I can’t move that quickly due to some neurological issues, but I am able to move with intent. This isn’t always a good thing, as when I make a step, I Make. A. Step.

Our front door is just about 3 or 3.5 feet from the bottom of the stairs and it is a major source of heat loss from our house. Because of this, we have rolled up and placed some blankets in front of the door to help insulate the room. It has helped, so even though it doesn’t look great, I haven’t protested their presence to my husband. In addition to the heat-saving properties, the kids also enjoy jumping and laying on it; so, sometimes the blankets are kind of tousled. On this particular evening, the kids had been playing with them, but I hadn’t had a chance to shove them back in their proper place yet.

SO, I was walking off of the last step, onto the ground, when I was overcome with a searing pain that can only be described as a knife-like injury to the foot. Pain radiated up my leg and I had to crumple to the floor to save both my foot and my consciousness. As I lay there, in excruciating pain, I was still ignorant to what had caused this unfortunate event. “Did I step on the fangs of a rattlesnake? How could a rattlesnake have gotten into the house? Clearly it was a rogue knife someone had left on the floor. Could it have been the toddler knife (which, why is there even such a thing as a toddler knife?) that I saw Delaney with? No, I took that away as soon as I saw her grab it out of the drawer, again, WHY is there such a thing as a toddler knife and WHY do I own one? It must have been the dogs bone, with its jagged ends. DEAR GOD, WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME”

About an hour and a half later, once the pain started to subside, I was able to sit up and inspect the area. I wasn’t sure what I was going to find, but I was sure that whatever it was, was going straight to the garbage. Lo and behold, looking up at me with twinkling brown eyes, was

Miles-from-Tomorrowland-play-sethidden under said tousled edges of the blankets.

This “toy” is about 2 inches tall and packed full of potential pain-causing edges.

While I couldn’t get rid of this particular toy, like I wanted to, I urge you all to take action before your fate becomes one with mine. Save yourselves. DON’T BUY THESE DEATH TOYS.




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