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Why isn’t day-drinking more popular? or, Decorating Easter Eggs with My Son

My son has been excited about coloring Easter eggs since I first mentioned it last week. I spent days telling him it wasn’t quite time yet, and he patiently waited, until yesterday. Yesterday, I wanted to stuff burning hot wax into my ears. Yesterday, I wanted to bury my head so deep into a pile… Continue reading Why isn’t day-drinking more popular? or, Decorating Easter Eggs with My Son

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8 things I would recommend when your husband makes a break for it (AKA “takes” a “trip”)

As some of you will remember, (from my post yesterday), my husband abandoned me this past weekend. He has since returned, but I cannot, under good conscience, tell you that he had a warm welcoming. Instead, he got two screaming children and a wife that needed 5 minutes to herself in the bathroom. Aaaaaanywho, this… Continue reading 8 things I would recommend when your husband makes a break for it (AKA “takes” a “trip”)

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When the Husbands away, the Wife will…try not to kill everyone

Friends, family, esteemed colleagues, I come to you today, to urge you to not poke the mama bear. At least not when she’s all by herself, with two small children, an asshole dog, and only nap time to look forward to. This weekend, my husband took a trip to the great state of Texas. You… Continue reading When the Husbands away, the Wife will…try not to kill everyone

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A non-comprehensive list of things that are acceptable when it’s a snow day, you’ve been sick, or if there’s weather outside

Being a parent is hard. Like, SO hard. The hardest thing I’ve ever done. If you’re a parent as well, you have my deepest empathy. Parenting while under any type of stress is even harder. Whether it be illness, money (or lackthereof), or school/work related, stress is stress. This is why I have compiled a… Continue reading A non-comprehensive list of things that are acceptable when it’s a snow day, you’ve been sick, or if there’s weather outside

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Freezer Parent

Sometimes, I’m the freezer parent. You know, the parent that is too lazy to even make a PB&J-the simplest of meals. Instead, I yank the chicken nuggets out of the depths of the freezer (I’d tell you which brand is the best, but I should totally get paid for that-Here’s lookin’ at you Tyson Chicken-Dinosaur… Continue reading Freezer Parent