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I Lost My Shit Today-A Poem

I lost my shit today, Not unlike any other day, But different from yesterday, Because yesterday we had fun.   Today when I awoke, It seemed like a cruel joke, They were already screaming, “Mommy she is teasing!” And as you can imagine this was not very pleasing.   I’m ashamed of what I have… Continue reading I Lost My Shit Today-A Poem

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My 2 year old nephew could (probably) kick my ass

2 years and 10 months ago my brother told me that he was going to be a dad. This was me:      Not only was I excited that I was going to be an aunt for the first time, but I was also excited because now he had his girlfriend locked down for 18… Continue reading My 2 year old nephew could (probably) kick my ass

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Freezer Parent

Sometimes, I’m the freezer parent. You know, the parent that is too lazy to even make a PB&J-the simplest of meals. Instead, I yank the chicken nuggets out of the depths of the freezer (I’d tell you which brand is the best, but I should totally get paid for that-Here’s lookin’ at you Tyson Chicken-Dinosaur… Continue reading Freezer Parent

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Cooking With a Toddler: Part 1

It is with a heavy heart that I come to you, to tell you that we are sick, AGAIN. I know what you’re thinking. “Is this beeyotch for real? There’s no way. At this point, I can’t even feign sympathy.” Well fret not, my friends, I don’t want your sympathy, or your pity. I just… Continue reading Cooking With a Toddler: Part 1